In the Ruby Vault

In the ruby vault Sorrow rushes in
most unexpectedly.
Two pools of blue, and black spider-legs
The voice of a lost Angel.

No more tympanic symphony--
Only sounds that open the Water-faucet

In the ruby vault regret ebbs
a vision of the man in white--
The sparkling feathers
And the irremediable lacerations

I want to colour the sky gold again please
Please let me
Unlock my paints brushes inspiration
that wait in the recesses of the ruby vault.

...

The only real fruit of studying for my philosophy final so far is this poem.

Crayons

"Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8 color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64 color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64 color box, though I've got a few missing. It's okay though, because I've got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8 color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation. So when I meet someone who's an 8 color type...I'm like, hey girl, Magenta! and she's like, oh, you mean purple! and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, no I want Magenta!"
-John Mayer

Falling into the Wardrobe

"On the train ride from London Euston to Manchester, I was thinking a lot about lessons learned while I have been gone from Canada. In some ways, I feel like a type of Lucy, who has ventured into a strange and enchanted world somewhere in the recesses of a wardrobe. Life before was so mundane, and so normal...

Now my eyes have been opened to another world entirely. I have learned so much of God and His character. I have been moved to tears over and over in the presence of His holiness. I have experienced splagnidzomai for the strangers I pass on the streets of these foreign places.

Also, this time in the wardrobe has most certainly been warped. I feel as though home is a million light years away, but in some regards it is as if time has passed in the blinking of an eye.

So what happens when I exit the wardrobe? How will I be changed, and how will I change others? Will there be a way to open the doors of the wardrobe again? Is there a way to bring some of the magic back into the mundane? I certainly hope so."

-Excerpt from my personal journal (April 26, 2010)

I have been thinking about how my relationship with God has changed since Capernwray. As I wrote earlier, in England I learned SO much about God's character. I am ever thankful for my experience.

That being said, I knew my experience there was not something I would be able to carry out in the same way at home. In England, I read approximately 10 chapters from the Bible every day, so as to finish reading it in its entirety within 6 months.

Presently, I do not read my Bible nearly as much. But there have been moments of life so rich since I've been home, even though I have not been reading the Bible in the same way I did at school. I don't mean to say that spending adequate time reading God's Word is not important for spiritual growth. It is absolutely crucial.

However, simply learning to experience life with Christ--learning to live a beautiful life with Him in the "normal stuff"--is just as critical, I think.

Christmas was a couple weeks ago, and as usual I read Luke 2. As it is written, the angels come to the shepherds and tell them that a Saviour has been born in Bethlehem--basically that the wonderful King they have been waiting for all this time has come. After hearing this, the shepherds went to Bethlehem to visit the newborn Messiah, and found Him to be as the angels had said.

I think it must have been something quite wonderful to hear of this life-saving King, and then to go and find it to be exactly as they were told. It must have been something marvelous to see that it is not false, not a rumour, not exaggerated--but miraculously true.

For me now, the magic of the wardrobe is finding the God I heard about at Capernwray to be as I have heard. Provider. Shephered. Lord. Comforter. Holy.

Other stuff:
I had coffee with a good friend tonight who challenged me to read the book of Deuteronomy, and note all the passages that say something about God's heart, and to look for why God gave the people the law. I will try to post my thoughts as I read through this book.

I bought John Mayer's "Battle Studies" from iTunes tonight. It's SO good.

I will be in Ft Lauderdale, Florida in approximately 40 days! I can't wait.